Yesterday, I wrote a post ‘Murderous Inequality‘. I discussed in it a murder that happened in Chennai and the gender issues relating to it.
I have always welcome critic of my views. They help me inform myself, correct myself. Especially on such sensitive issues, I think it is even more important to discuss rather than be closeted in your own opinion.
I did not want to initially address it. But I couldn’t neglect it. He seems to have taken my post very personally as if I was refering to him specifically. I was not. It was about the prevalent things in society.
Here I try to answer some of his comments –
1. He doesn’t even acknowledge what the post was about. The murder of a woman.
3. I acknowledge the help that some provide to their mothers. It is commendable but it would certainly be naive to assume this to be common. That he say ‘not much but we do help’ is a proof of the assumed limitations that men put on themselves when it comes to household activities.
4. Of course violence is common. What he, in his comment, certainly seems to have failed to understand in my post is that the reasons the are inflicted on women, in particular are ‘unique’. And yes, men are violated too. But that was never the subject of my post.
5. My sense is that he don’t seem to care about details in what he reads. I never wrote – boys are ‘taught that girls are subservient..’. I used an adjective ‘passively taught’ which he has quoted in his comment but seem not to take note of it.
6. Yes, women do guard our borders. And if they are less in number, its not because of their own lack of dedication but policies of the defence deparment. I take serious offence to these words of his – ‘In army they are not foot soldier they are just there to show that indian army has womans.’ He should check his facts before making such outrageous claims. His words do a disservice to the many men and women of our armed forces.
7. Yes, women do work in coal mines as field engineers. And yes they do clean sewers. The same argument of ‘clubbing’ of ‘jobs’ as per gender that he suggests being unfair for the male is used by people who specify a very narrow spectrum of things women can do.
8. I did not mean, nor do I intend to insult women who do not ‘formally’ work. I never said there is anything bad in household work. Its even tougher. (I do some cooking too and abundantly enjoy it.) Some woman just want to be a housewife. There’s nothing wrong there. I never advocated otherwise. But what about those who do not want to be housewives? Don’t they deserve a chance at their ‘dream’?
9. What I am definitely say is that many men( not all, just to clarify ) feel threatened and insecure by women who achieve success or by those who rejected their sexual or romantic advances.
Lastly, I am not hurt by his comments. They only helped me prove my points in what I had already mentioned. In fact, it strengthened them.
His apologetic comments in the end seem to suggest that he made his comments in a tired mood. I’d give him the benefit of doubt and ask him reconsider his views.