The daily activities of college can be very draining. It, certainly, is for me. Especially because I find my courses extremely boring and unpleasant. I try not to sleep during lecture and it does work most of the time. But even when I am not dozing off, I always find myself thinking about things distant from the lectures.

Sometimes, it is about a news article I read last night. Or an episode of some TV series. Or a movie. Or a book I have been reading. Or some stupid joke I suddenly got reminded of. And when that distraction comes I cannot help but lead myself right into it leaving behind my physical self in that lecture hall.

When I was in school, these things never happened. I was sharp and focused. I had no such distractions, especially not during my classes. It used to bother me in the beginning but now I allow myself this luxury drifting away from the daily quagmires of college into a recreational world where I can afford to be a mere spectator.

Some of my friends play games but I hate it. For me, the most consuming means of escaping has been watching TV series and movies. Sometimes, I feel like a constant adrenaline rush that keeps me going from episode to episode and season to season until I finish the whole thing.

Books have also been a very good and trusting source of refuge. I had never read a novel until I was a freshman in college. Slowly and steadily, I started to read and now I love reading. I have scores of unread books in diverse genres that I plan to somehow finish.

And then the comedy shows of Stephen Colbert, John Oliver and the like. I just love them. I wish we had something of that sort in India. I have stopped watching cable news. I read newspaper daily. Takes almost two hours but it is informative and illuminating. One of the most important conclusions I have drawn is that things are much more sophisticated than we would like them to be.

In this pessimistic approach to escapism, I found refuge in social sciences. I have developed an inclination for economics and its political repercussions. And it was possible only because of these distractions and diversions. Books and movies have been my interface into my still-not-experienced world.

I started volunteering at an educational non-profit where I teach students. It has been a good learning experience so far. I am still unsure what I will do after graduation. Sometimes I think of higher studies. Sometimes I think of civil services. Sometimes, I think of becoming a writer. I even think of going back home to my village and open a school there and teach kids.

I find my friend rallying for extravagant internships. Sometimes, I am tempted to try my hand at them. But I never find myself really motivated enough to  do that. Maybe, it is my ignorance of unpleasant reality or my naive youth.

But I feel that this escapism has been very indulging and educational. I regret that I had to call it escapism. I even feel glad that I entertained my ‘distractions.’


One thought on “My Indulging Escapsim

  1. Just be careful. If you are drifting off in lectures are you following the syllabus in the texts? Sometimes studying the syllabus in your own way can produce a better result than paying attention in lectures. Good luck!


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